Blue Wing

Bless the blue wing

That’s living by your side

Always

On those days

And yes,  there are many of them

That you forget the lightness of being

Turn your eyes to it

To the bone 

To the feathers

To the way its made

You are made, in your own image

Those days of rock and mud

You know the ones

The heavy ones

Where you are too much earth and not enough sky

Turn your eyes too it

This wing of yours

To it’s shape

Your shape

and yes, you forgot about it

Because we are all, so fucking good at forgetting

Bless us.

In the dark spread it out now

To the tips

And in the middle of the night stand by your window

Yes you

I am taking to you

Remember that wing was made for flying

And any one who told you it wasn’t , had forgot their own

It wasn’t their fault, really

Bless them.

Even in the days when it curled in on itself somehow

when gravity had stared at you so long, that you bowed your head

Let your wing, and the blue light from it

Light the path

Up

your head remembering the way of lightness

Up

Just for a second

Thats enough for now

Yes ,you will forget all this

You will always forget

But then you’ll remember again

Like small magic

Slight of hand

Then when thats done, and you feel yourself spread out inside yourself a little more

Make tea, the way you like it.

Cai Tomos

One Evening

One evening I sat on the ground with my father

I saw the delicate curve of his spine

That held the weight of thought

For so many years

Perhaps it was the years of bowing to the gods of work that shaped him so

That evening

He in his bedclothes 

And me in mine

I looked at the way his body folded

With tender awkwardness

How young he looked out of a suit

I could see 

His hands

His feet in particular

And thought

You were once a child 

What were you like?

Did you throw stones through the windows of old ruins?

And feel the ecstasy 

Of the glass breaking

And in that sound

Feel as if another part of you had just broken open

Did you build a den in the woods?

Your own wild kingdom

A place where your imagination could breathe and be itself

Did you hold your own hand in the dark when you were frightened?

Did you kill an animal? 

What did you dream of?

Did that place in you

That place only you know

But no one else knows

Hidden from the world 

That place

Just behind the heart

In the dark red cave of warm flesh

Did you feel a piercing love reach you there?

Just there

I hope so father

I hope so 

Cai Tomos 2020